The Journey of Self Acceptance
“This article is a personal experience from one of the international students at UII. She tells us about the culture and social environment in Yemen. Interestingly, meeting people from different countries brought a new personal growth to her”
I have always wondered if the struggle of not feeling like I belong to my society would ever disappear, or if I would have to keep trying to fit in. From an early age, society teaches us about the importance of fitting in, and how it is rewarded, while on the other hand deviating from social norms will only lead to rejection or judgment. I remember the time a teacher yelled at me because I was against the idea of forcing young girls to wear hijabs. She wanted me to agree lie everyone else without saying what I thought or even giving me the chance to explain my thoughts. Growing up surrounded by such people, and such an environment turned me into a person who constantly seeks societal validation and acceptance from others, instead of myself.
We deliberately seek out similar and recognizable norms like conforming to stereotypes and suppressing our true thoughts and emotions, to feel secure. If we’re doing the same as everyone else, we must be doing it right, and finding a reflection of ourselves in those around us is a form of validation. Moreover, the fear of ending up alone is always triggering to most of us.
Living in such a society or environment during my teenage years was very challenging, and the feeling of being an outsider has always accompanied me-whether in school or among people around me. The stress of being someone else to fit in is a heavy burden to bear. I would usually choose to do what others are doing. To fit in and blend with society. This desire slowly started to become an obsession. As a result, it led to the loss of individuality and uniqueness of my personality. It also felt like I was starting to lose connection with my authentic self.
I started to embrace my flaws, except myself for who I am, and stop being afraid of being myself. These things helped me to long for a space where I could express myself freely with no judgment, where I didn’t feel the need to force myself to think and act in a certain way. This journey has its ups and downs. I sometimes question myself if I’m doing the right thing or if it’s worth enduring society’s rejection, but every time I choose myself above anything else I remember why I started this journey in the first place.
Meeting people from different cultures and backgrounds helped me to see the beauty of diversity in their thoughts and experiences. I remember the first time I expressed my thoughts without the fear of being judged. Everyone was open to the idea of diversity in thoughts, experiences, and mindsets. This was shown by everyone’s actions, and they welcomed the idea of everyone presenting themselves not others. This life experience that I have been through not only taught me how to make good individual choices for myself but also made me open-minded to different perspectives. I would say that the experience began when I traveled for the first time in my life. It was an unprepared life decision that my family made for our sake, and we were afraid it was going to be a good step for us. For me, I would say it was a complete turning point in my life, and in the way I see myself.
As I grew older and got involved in more life experiences, I realized that respect for my thoughts should start from me, or I would always feel the need to fake my personality to feel welcomed by others. This realization was hard but necessary. Also waiting for others to accept or love you isn’t the answer. Acceptance has to start with you only. It took time and energy to reach the truth, but as I began living this truth, I finally felt like me again with a sense of freedom. You will never shine brighter than when you are being your true self.
Written by: Thrya Abdulraheem Motea Al-aqab
Edited by: Meigitaria Sanita
